


Grief

by Mels13



Series: ShipsSetSail Tumblr works [5]
Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Death, Funerals, Grief/Mourning, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-07-03 02:54:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15809880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mels13/pseuds/Mels13
Summary: Laurents experiences with death and funerals. A short narrative of how he has dealt with the death in his life.





	Grief

**Author's Note:**

> hey, thanks for checking this out. Shout out to @phoenixflight for helping me with this.

Laurent's first funeral that he can remember attending was for one of his father's council members. It was a grand affair as most events in Vere are. The man had aged gracefully and was found dead in his sleep. He remembers standing for long hours as his father gave a speech and Auguste stood beside him holding his hand. It was boring watching grown men cry over death. People are born, then they live, and they die. Everyone dies, so why cry over it when it is expected? Laurent just didn’t understand it. When he spoke to Auguste he said that Laurent would understand it better when he grew up, Auguste tended to say that a lot when Laurent asked questions Auguste didn't want to answer. 

Laurent understood the feeling better, he had a word for it now. Grief. His mother was gone. She was sick so it was also expected, and Auguste had told him to prepare for the worst, but nothing could have prepared him for this new feeling. He had suddenly realized that his mother would never again say his name, sing him to sleep, read him books whenever he asked. She would never again hold him close and tell him that she loved her youngest son. Laurent felt a hole in his chest, like a piece of his childhood was dying along with his mother. Auguste and father were still there and they must have been feeling the same pain, if not worse because they had gotten to know mother more in the years before Laurent’s birth. Father wept at the funeral publicly for his wife; that was the first and only time Laurent could remember seeing his father cry. Auguste held him close and told him to stay strong, princes must never appear weak even when they are. 

Grief can no longer be the word for the pain Laurent is feeling. He stood on the field against Auguste's orders and watched from a distance as his brother fell and never stood again. It was as if everything Laurent had ever known in his life was suddenly gone. His worst nightmare he never thought possible tuned a sudden harsh reality.  
Damianos had taken everything from him.  
Laurent was rushing to his brother’s fallen side as the battle began to dissolve into true chaos. News of Auguste’s death was having soldiers make simple mistakes and being cut down left and right from the unhonorable Akielons. Some of Auguste’s men were picking up his body as the Akielon prince was calling his troops to stop the fighting.  
Just as Laurent reached Auguste’s lifeless body a shout had rung out loudly over the plains. The King had been killed. Laurent stopped dead as if a spear was holding him in place. Not only had Auguste died but so had his father. Both had seemed invincible to Laurent no one had ever even come close to scraping them with a blade, much less killing them, and now in a single moment, Laurent had lost it all. He did not leave Auguste’s side once he was placed in a field tent. The troops brought their father there as well.  
Uncle came and tried to get Laurent to leave but he refused on the small hope that Auguste would magically start to move again. His uncle handled everything with the full support of the council to end the war, save lives and keep the only remaining prince alive and away from the battlefield. Laurent didn’t care - the one thing he was living for had stopped living. He rode in the wagon with the hastily made caskets. The smell was horrid but Laurent couldn't leave. He had no more tears left to cry but he felt that every inch away from Auguste was another arrow into his already bleeding heart. 

Then came the official funeral in Vere. The biggest event of the nation. Both King and beloved Prince were to be entombed in their final resting place. Everyone tried to speak and give condolences to Laurent, but these people had never talked to him before so he saw no point in talking back.  
Laurent stood and watched as the casket containing Auguste’s body was closed after the viewing. Hands gripped his shoulders and a much deeper voice echoed Auguste’s words to Laurent during his mother's funeral. “You must stay strong Laurent, you must show the nation that you are a strong prince that will one day rule.” Laurent didn’t want to be a prince, he didn't want to be king. He wanted his brother back. Laurent ripped himself from his uncle's grasp and ran to throw himself on Auguste’s casket, shouting unintelligible protests. Uncle used his strength and lifted Laurent off because no one else could touch the Prince. He held Laurent close and muffles his screams into the dark cloth of his jacket. Laurent suddenly found his tears as he went limp in his uncle's arms. 

Laurent attended many funerals growing up under the Regent. He tended to be quiet and impersonal during them; only doing as much as he was needed but nothing more. Death became one of the one things he wanted most in life. Not his own death but the death of the man who killed his brother and took away everything good about his life. Not only did Damianos kill Auguste that day on the battlefield he had also killed a part of Laurent. A changed happened that day that Laurent could never recover from. All that had happened since he had blamed on one man. All the pain and suffering that Laurent had endured over the years, he would repay Damianos within tenfold. 

Now Laurent had seen his share of battle funerals, those given to the soldiers of no rank. The mass graves when there were too many bodies and not enough living. He had seen the aftermath of both Marlas and Sanpeiler and had been along to the border with his uncle in the years after. He had also grown used to the idea that those closest to him could turn traitor for money or gain, or out of a misdirected sense that they might protect Laurent by betraying him to the Regent. Men would do most anything when their families were threatened.  
His men were there to die for him. Then men would die in trust that Laurent would protect that nation in which they lived. They knew that, and Laurent knew that, but yet the feeling of grief returned when he saw Orlant’s body lying bloody on the ground of the destroyed campsite. Orlant who was part of his original guard; Laurent had known this man for over four years. Laurent didn’t believe that he had been an insurgent like he was told. Yet the thought nagged at him. Could this man really have been working and reporting back to his uncle over all four years he had been in Laurent’s care? He looked on with tired mind and body as Jord and Huet picked him up with more gentle care than the others. Orlant shouldn't be buried with those who had betrayed him. But if he ordered otherwise he would expose Aimeric to soon. Laurent still didn’t know what his plan was so he couldn’t act.  
Laurent turned south, his barbarian slave took off there to kill the Regents men from the inn. He secretly hoped that the Akielon wouldn’t be another body he would have to bury today. 

The next funeral Laurent held was in private. He had taken off in the early morning by himself with a shovel and a rucksack. He looked for a place in the soft earth that would be easy to dig. The hole would be small but he needed it to still be nice. He found a small clearing at the top of the hill with a beautiful view overlooking the fort and Vere’s countryside. He had hoped Nicaise would like it out here even if all Nicaise ever did was complain when he was forced to leave the comforts of the castle.  
Laurent dug and quickly started to sweat in his riding leathers but worked on in the cool morning air. New pain to replace the old pain of the horrors that encroached his body last night. His uncle had control over everything and yet Laurent had control over this but Nicaise had still died. He had left it to chance thinking that Nicaise was smart enough to survive. Laurent had been wrong and his miscalculation had cost Nicaise his life. He put the head of curls carefully into the freshly dug earth. Then he whispered all the things he had wished to tell the young boy and made his goodbyes. 

Aimeric’s body was given to his mother and father. Laurent left them to grieve in peace as he watched from above. 

Of those grand funerals granted to those of royal blood, his uncle's death was anything but. His head mounted to a stake at the front of the Akielon center, the hot sun making it rot and disfigure faster then it would have in Arles. His body tossed into the ocean, even that felt too nice for Laurent wants. 

His next funeral was unexpected, one Laurent would have never prepared for. Damen’s Vaskian son had lived with them in the castle for 5 years when a sickness proved too powerful for the young boy. Both countries mourned for weeks over the loss of the young prince. At times Laurent could still see the grief reflected in his own eyes at the loss of the child. Some nights Damen still went to his grave and cried for his son. 

As the years progress more and more lives take their weight in Laurent’s heart. Those in the prince's guard slowly come to an end. Laurent even finds himself missing the company of Nikandros some nights when he wished to ask things about Damen that he couldn't ask the man himself. He had come to miss hearing the sounds of Lazar and Pallas enjoying each other bodies at the most inappropriate times. It seemed like all the world was moving on and yet on this earth Laurent was stuck. 

Laurent was glad Damen had not left him yet, through the years were showing on both their faces. They had retired and left the kingdom in the hands of Damen’s bastard son. He was strong and won over most of the country. Laurent lay curled up in Damen’s arms and slept like he had for the past 60 or so years. But when he woke the bed was cold, Laurent had expected Damen’s body to no longer be there, as he was an early riser but yet it was. He lay unmoving just as Laurent had left him in the night. Tears started to roll down Laurent’s eyes as his fingers traced Damen’s gray brow and down his chin. Laurent kissed his slightly parted lips and whispered. “My love I will be joining you soon. Please wait for me.” He held Damen close a few more moments before rising and alerting the palace to the news.

The tomb Laurent had made for his love was big enough for two and grand enough for the royalty of two kings. The engraved epitaph read. “King Damianos and King Laurent. Their love and patience united two warring nations. May they live as strong in death as they did in life.” 

Laurent opened his eyes to a blinding light and silently cursed himself for not closing the curtains before falling asleep. Then a voice he would not forget said “Welcome. I’ve missed you, but I’m glad you took your time.” Laurent opened his eyes and everyone who he would ever have called family was standing before him with open arms.


End file.
